Limbo

This is limbo, sitting sideways in an armchair, music playing but half-way consciously listening, more so listening to the conscious beats of my own mind, watching clouds drift by in a clouded cold day’s sky. Sitting, looking through the glass, ever so often looking to the time, waiting for the next scene of my day to begin upon our clouded day stage, just waiting in this limbo, was not as bad as I thought. Telling myself in my own mind, “I wonder what my next day’s sky will bring. Another series of clouds leading to the transition into a new scene or just another mellow setting, constantly living for the future of the next scene, but that seems to be less than my own expectations.”  While here I started to play out the future of my own years and life, shutting out the rest of the people in the library and watching the clouds transition flawlessly. Looking to the future in this sky was in a way helping me, for when I was considering my future I was becoming in many ways enlightened. For this cloudy sky I starred so deeply into never changed, giving me the chance to consider all the life I had lived up to this point. I am young, I understand this to be true and that my life has a long way to go. I also understand that the future can be cut dramatically short by fate and destiny themselves; I’ve come to grips with these facts for quite a while, so I do not fear them. Despite these facts, I still look and anticipate my own future on this cloudy sky. It would be a terrible thing to live in fear of these facts, and not be prepared for your own future.    I always love the rain and it actually brought on happiness, others always say it’s a bad day when it rains, but for me that is an untrue statement. I’m not a person to willingly divide myself to force myself to stand out, I have always done what I feel to be right, and pretty much what I wanted to do in my own life and it’s a good life so far. Not too earlier, when I entered the library I looked around to see who else was inside, I saw a room full of younger kids and then a room next to it with one freshman I’ve seen a few times, just sitting by himself facing the glass door, I walked towards a chair and set down my things next to a window and walked towards his room, I opened the door and leaned up against the door frame, and with an inquisitive tone I said to him, “Hey what you doing in here?” He responded “just homework.” I nodded and just left the room, going back to sit in my chair and wait a little longer till it was my time to leave. I gathered my things and packed up what little I had took out and walked out the door of the library, walking in the frigid cold and damp earth beneath me, but when I approached my destination all the doors were locked, there was no apparent way in for me and I had to keep walking, around the building and in the other side. Everywhere there were puddles of water, just standing still and moving no where, waiting to be dried up and reborn in the next scene of the play. Walking around wasn’t all too bad to me though, I got fresh air and even found a dollar, somehow compensating for the locked doors. I eventually arrived to a door that was not locked, I opened the door and felt the heat on my skin, fighting off the cold and ultimately bringing me to the next scene at hand. I walked through this hallway, multiple paths to take, one to a basketball game, one to a small group of people and the other at the exit. I headed to the exit because I had been waiting for my ride this whole time and it was almost time for me to go. I looked again at the time and then began to proceed through the doors, I looked at the street and a car pulled up spraying water everywhere, this was my ride, I put my bag in the trunk and got in the car. I took one final look at where I had treaded on my walk, and looked to the sky. The scene closing as I just waited for the next. To escapee the puppeteers of our own lives we have to want to break free, we have to move through our world and conquer every obstacle without having to be helped, to find our own state of mind in which we find peace, and that is the most rewarding escape of them all.