Playground of the Past- Part I

When reflecting upon ones owns life, people tend to misplace the memories of their past.  In a sense they don’t actually forget about these memories but they choose not to remember, they block them out for the very fact that they had so much of a negative impact that the human brain fools itself into thinking that these events never occurred. This is a terrible thing to behold, for human existence and sanity are merely being held together by an intricate system of lies in which reality is not as it appears.
On a sunny summer day I sat on that bench thinking about these very thoughts, I looked upon what I saw before my eyes and tried my hardest to remember the things I had so eagerly forgotten. The playground of my own past, as I said it was a sunny summer day and I was sitting on a park bench in the city. I was typically thinking as any one teenager would that the amount of time I would be wasting here at this very spot, so naturally I was in a state of boredom, not really caring for my surroundings. I had my friends dog with me and as I sat there contemplating the rest of my day I started to notice things, I saw people before me which represented life itself in stages of human age. This playground of all places contained every stage of life as I know it, it of course had children and their parents, but one must task themselves when finding the truth to look at the surface of the ocean of society and dive deeper into ones own sub conscience to find the truth. The first stage was that of beginning, associated with curiosity and happiness, the stage which was represented by a girl of about two years, naturally she was curious about the dog and came over to pet it, so she did and was happy for the moment. After she went back to playing I questioned if I myself was ever like this, I wanted to know more of my past which I had forgotten so much of. For as long as I could remember I knew nothing of my life before I was about seven years of age, but the scary thing about it is when I try to think back further I keep seeing a door, and every time I try and struggle to open the door I get lost within my own thoughts and forget about why I want to open the door. That day, I forced myself to open the door and I saw nothing, I saw a space void of being.  I accepted that fact that day because I came to the realization of my own self that I did not exist before I had become thoughtful. I even look back at the little girl that I remember in my mind and try to comprehend if I was ever like that even still, but perhaps that is my own minds way of coping with whatever went on. The girl that I had first encountered was a symbol of man kind’s innocence and curiosity, but I looked further into this matter and saw that today man is a corrupt and hateful race. Although I say that the girl represents innocence, what she will become when she comes of age I cannot say.